


Give Me Back My Point Of View

by berniecampbell



Series: Give Me Back My Point of View [1]
Category: Holby City
Genre: Angst, F/F, berena - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 11:50:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8161145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berniecampbell/pseuds/berniecampbell
Summary: Alone in the Ukraine, Bernie hears from Cameron that Robbie is back in town. She decides to drown her sorrows at the closest bar, but, she can't get Serena out of her mind.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm living in the head cannon that Cameron comes to Holby shortly after Bernie leaves and will be working under Serena.
> 
> I'm not a fanfic writer, I just couldn't get this out of my head. The title comes from Look What You've Done by Jet, because that's the song that was on when I was trying to come up with a title.

Bernie can't stay here. Not like this, not in this terrible little apartment 2,000 miles away from the one place she wants to be. When word comes in from Cameron that Serena's old boyfriend has come back into the picture, she decides that enough is enough. 

After a few too many drinks at home she drives in search of a bar, stopping at the first one she comes across. She wonders if Serena would ever go to a place like this, then immediately wipes the thought from her mind. Serena is incredibly classy. She'd never be caught dead here. 

Luckily it's dark and loud and she thinks she might be able to forget, just for one night. She fights the urge to order Shiraz, instead throwing her money onto the counter. 

"Surprise me." She says to the bartender, and he nods. She studies his face for a moment and wonders what Serena's ex looks like. Is he tall, broad shouldered, handsome? Bernie is surely lacking in areas that he is not and she gladly gulps down the shot of whiskey when it is put in front of her. She quickly orders another, wincing at the burn as the brown liquid slides down her throat.

The bartender is slower to pour her third shot, and as she waits, she notices a young brunette watching her. Bernie decides she could do with a distraction and swaggers over, although in reality she realizes it's probably not nearly as smooth as she imagines it to be.

"You want to get out of here?" The girl murmurs. Straight to the point then. She can't be more than 25 and Bernie hates herself a little when she grabs her hand and pulls her further into the depths of the bar. 

She pushes the girl into a bathroom stall and locks it before kissing her. It's nothing like the kisses she's been craving for the last month. Serena's kisses warmed Bernie from the inside out, setting her on fire in a way that she hadn't felt with anyone but Alex. 

She does her best to push them both out of her head. Tonight is not about anyone but her and the pretty girl that's dropping down to her knees in front of the trauma surgeon. 

The brunette unzips Bernie's zipper and pulls down her pants and panties in one swift motion. Bernie takes in a shaky breath at the first swipe along her sex. She realizes that she didn't get the girl's name and feels a bit guilty, but then the girl sucks her clit into her mouth and all thought leaves her mind for a moment. 

It feels amazing, but, Bernie knows her body. There's no way she's going to come like this and she tries to tell the girl, but as she opens her mouth three fingers sharply enter her. The intrusion comes as a shock and she cries out, breathing through the sting of the stretch for a moment. 

Her mind travels to Serena, to all the times she'd imagined having the doctor in a position just like this. Bernie on her knees, her face buried into soft brown curls as she licked eagerly. Maybe against their office door, or when they were both in the shower after watching some movie with Jason. Maybe Serena would like it rough. Bernie imagines bending her over the kitchen table and fucking her in earnest, Serena crying out _Major_ and _please_ with every thrust until she was a babbling mess. 

Her orgasm comes out of nowhere and she slams her head against the bathroom stall, crying out Serena's name.

The girl pulls back, practically beaming up at her. Bernie immediately reaches down and pulls up her pants, guilt washing over her instantaneously. She's almost as ashamed as she'd been when she left the woman she loved in a stroke of brilliant cowardice.

"I didn't realize I told you my name." The girl says, breaking through Bernie's thoughts. Her eyes are sparkling as she unbuttons her own pants, moving to stand. It's too much of a coincidence that this girl would share a name with the woman she came here to forget; and suddenly the stall is too small, too hot. 

"I'm sorry, I-I can't do this." Bernie says, tripping over herself trying to get out of the bathroom. She nearly falls face first into a mirror, but catches herself on one of the sinks. 

"Hey! You fucking owe me!" She hears the girl say, but she pushes herself up and continues to walk as fast as her shaky legs will carry her. When she finally reaches the door the cold air slaps her in the face, stealing her breath. Tears sting the back of her eyes and she walks straight to her car, focusing on her breathing and trying to think of nothing else. 

With a heavy heart she drives back home, trying to keep the tears at bay. When she finally crawls into bed, it is with the knowledge that she doesn't deserve Serena. Something she's always known but has only fully accepted after the events of tonight. She sees a flash in her mind of Serena, curled into bed with a faceless man and she wants so badly to wish her happiness. Instead she closes her eyes and lets herself drift into a fitful sleep, the woman she left at home the only thing on her mind.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested follow my [tumblr](http://bernie-campbell.tumblr.com/)


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